My dad was a convert to the church. After praying for
direction in his life, he was told, by what he later realized to be the Holy
Ghost, to join a church. The day after he prayed, the Elders came to his door
and asked if he would like to learn more about Jesus Christ and he did because
he wanted to do what the Lord directed him to do. I’m grateful for those two Elders that taught
my dad. I have been blessed by the father that he became through growing and
learning about the gospel and living an obedient life.
So, I was asked to give a talk today on fatherhood. And this
isn’t just a talk for fathers. All of you young men out there better listen up,
because I hope that you will all become good fathers one day. And all of you
women and young women out there, this is a great resource to hold your husbands
and fathers to, but, don’t be too harsh with them. Nobody is perfect.
There are a few characteristics that good fathers have in
common. A good father is patient, wise, kind, and loving. They help their
family when they are in need and they give comfort to those who need it. But
the most important role of the father is to be a teacher.
I have a good friend named Sean. During the school year he
would host little study parties for some of his friends. I would have never
wanted to do this. I believe that the words study and party should never be
next to each other in the same sentence. But I still enjoyed them and I know
that Sean enjoyed these because of the example of his father. His dad was
extremely big on education and it definitely rubbed off on him. I’m sure that
his example is the reason why he got into the college that he wanted to get
into.
Fathers are to command their children and their household “that
they should keep the way of the lord.” This doesn’t mean that the father is the
supreme ruler of the home. He is to only command the household to live the way
of the lord in righteousness and love. The best way to do this is through
example.
One thing that I have been told by others is that the kids
in my family are great at accepting others the way they are. I don’t really
notice this myself, but I bet that it’s because of the example of my dad. One
of his winning characteristics is that he never speaks badly about anyone. He
sees the good in others and I guess that’s where it came from. He taught us,
through example, that we should all love others as Christ loves others.
Children learn through example. In the book of John, it
says, “Verily, I say unto you, The Son can do nothing of himself, but what he
seeth the Father do: for what things soever he doeth, these also doeth the Son
likewise.” (John 5:19) Almost nothing teaches a child better than the example
of a loving father.
One wonderful example of a good father is that of Lehi.
Nephi says, in verse one of chapter one of first Nephi, “I Nephi having been
born of goodly parents, therefore I was taught somewhat in all the learning of
my father,” When Lehi was commanded to leave Jerusalem , he quietly obeyed and did as heavenly
father asked of him. Nephi did the same without questioning his father because
he had been taught by example to follow the lord. Lehi was being an example to Nephi
by trusting in the lord and following his commandments.
Ezra Taft Benson did a wonderful job of explaining the roles
of a father.
A fathers calling is
eternal. Men have been called to be fathers since the beginning of time.
When Adam first came to the earth, god commanded him to multiply and replenish
the earth. Thus, he had become the father of humankind. God, the creator of
heaven and earth, life, and everything, has us address him as heavenly father.
This must illustrate how important the calling of father is.
Ezra Taft Benson stated:
“For a man, there is no calling as high as that of a righteous
patriarch, married in the house of the lord, presiding over his children.”
Let’s go over these in detail.
The father is the
patriarch: a patriarch is to provide for that which he has authority over.
In a father’s case, they are to provide spiritual advice to their children.
They are also to provide for their physical needs as well.
L. Tom Perry gave a good example in his talk Fatherhood, an
eternal calling. He said:
“One good example of a patriarch is Jethro, Moses’ father-in-law, observing how he was governing the children of
“And when Moses’ father in law saw all that he did to the people, he said, What is this thing that thou doest to the people? Why sittest thou thyself alone, and all the people stand by thee from morning unto even?
“And Moses said unto his father in law, because the people come unto me to enquire of God: …
“And Moses’ father in law said unto him, the thing that thou doest is not good.
“Thou wilt surely wear away, both thou, and this people that is with thee: for this thing is too heavy for thee; thou art not able to perform it thyself alone.”
Then Jethro taught Moses how to delegate this responsibility by calling able men who would fear God and letting them judge as rulers in
“And let them judge the people at all seasons: and it shall be, that every great matter they shall bring unto thee, but every small matter they shall judge: so shall it be easier for thyself, and they shall bear the burden with thee.”
Jethro was the perfect example of a father. He noticed that Moses had a problem, which I don’t believe Moses even noticed, and he actively tried to help him through that problem. He led Moses through it and solved it with him. And on top of that, he taught him a few lessons in the process.
The father is married
in the house of the lord: I believe we can take this not only literally,
but metaphorically as well. Of course, the father should be married in the
temple, but they should also treat their marriage as something sacred, they
should make their house a house of the lord.
Lastly, a father
presides over his children: a father presides over his children by being an
example, by spending time with them, by listening to them. Ezra Taft Benson
gives ten examples of how to be a good example to your children.
1. Give father’s blessings to your children. Baptize and confirm your children. Ordain your sons to the priesthood. These will become spiritual highlights in the lives of your children.
2. Personally direct family prayers, daily scripture reading, and weekly family home evenings. Your personal involvement will show your children how important these activities really are.
3. Whenever possible, attend Church meetings together as a family. Family worship under your leadership is vital to your children’s spiritual welfare.
4. Go on outings with your family.
5. Build traditions of family vacations and trips and outings. These memories will never be forgotten by your children.
6. Have regular one-on-one visits with your children. Let them talk about what they would like to. Teach them gospel principles. Teach them true values. Tell them you love them. Personal time with your children tells them where Dad puts his priorities.
7. Teach your children to work, and show them the value of working toward a worthy goal. …
8. Encourage good music and art and literature in your homes. Homes that have a spirit of refinement and beauty will bless the lives of your children forever.
9. As distances allow, regularly attend the temple with your wife. Your children will then better understand the importance of temple marriage and temple vows and the eternal family unit.
10. Have your children see your joy and satisfaction in service to the Church. This can become contagious to them, so they, too, will want to serve in the Church and will love the kingdom.
Being a father is a sacred duty. If something would get in the way of your fatherly duties, try to avoid those things as much as possible. I’m not saying that you have to give up all of your personal hobbies. I’m just saying that if an opportunity arises in which you can enrich the life of one of your family members, don’t pass it up for something of less importance to your eternal relationship.
I would like to bear my testimony. I believe that the gift of fatherhood is ordained of god. I know that it is one of the most important goals for young men to strive for. Young men, stay worthy to become a father, to be able to get married in the temple, to be able to lead your future family in righteousness, to be able to help more children of our Heavenly Father learn of the gospel, of repentance, of the love that he feels for us. Sisters, help your husbands, brothers, fathers and all men of the church. Help them stay worthy, help them learn and grow. Fathers, keep fatherhood sacred and remember that it is one of the most important things you will ever do. I say these things In the name of Jesus Christ, Amen.
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